What is your full name?
Bram the Bard
Do you have any aliases?
Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Gozer the Traveler, Volguus Zildrohar, and Lord of the Sebouillia
What bands are you actively involved with?
Currently, Wizard Tattoo and an untitled 80s synth project that I'm working on with my wife.
What was the first instrument that you played?
Piano. My mom had me take lessons when I was eight, and I'll always be grateful to her for getting me into playing music at such an early age.
Tell me about one of your first musical memories?
Probably, listening to whatever my parents were into at the time, so I'm thinking John Cougar Mellencamp, The Bee Gees, Prince, and Van Halen. The first artist that I liked on my own was Kenny Rogers, which I got into from watching The Gambler movies. Don't judge me!
What was the name of the first band you were in?
I played drums in a cover band in high school called The Banned. We played songs by Nirvana, Guns N' Roses, and Metallica, but I believe we only played two real shows. The rest of the time was spent either practicing in garages or basements while driving our parents nuts.
Tell me about the genesis of Wizard Tattoo.
I had wanted to do a doom/stoner project for a few years because I'm a big fan of the genres and always wanted to take a stab at them. But, it finally came together during the pandemic. Being stuck inside gave me a lot of free time, so I got heavily back into playing guitar and then started writing riffs. The idea for the project really took shape after I came up with the name…
What inspired the name Wizard Tattoo?
I wanted to get a new tattoo and decided on a wizard because I'm kind of a fantasy nerd. I found out that wizard tattoos are pretty common, so the name came about because I thought it'd be funny to take two played-out things like tattoos of wizards and bands with the name "wizard" in them and put them together. I also remember joking around with the tattoo artist about naming the wizard and it talking to me. Once those thoughts entered my mind, the rest just kind of happened.
How long did it take you to write and record your self-titled debut ep?
It probably took about 3-4 months to put it together, but I had been noodling around with some of the riffs since early last year. The hardest parts were writing lyrics and recording the vocals.
If you could insert yourself into any one band what band would it be and why?
Probably any band that tours around the world would be awesome. I don't care what genre. I'd love to travel the globe and play music, but I'd probably get homesick super fast. I think it'd still be an awesome experience, though.
Have you ever heard a song and immediately wished you had written it? If so… What was the song and artist?
Not necessarily one that I wish I had written, but I have been impressed by some well-written songs. "Adrift in the Ocean" by Yob comes to mind. I could listen to it a thousand times and be blown away each time.
Do you have any non-metal musical inspirations?
Oh yeah, lots. ZZ Top, Guns N' Roses, and The Allman Brothers Band were non-metal inspirations for the EP. I used to play classic rock in a few cover bands, so I have a soft spot for those bands.
What’s a non-metal song that you'd like to do a cover of?
I hate most metal versions of non-metal songs. It always seems like they just take the original, add some chuggy down-picking and double-bass and call it a day while completely missing out on what made the song great, to begin with. So, if I were to pick one, I'd probably do something more true to the original but that allows some wiggle room. Maybe something by the Allman Brothers like "Hotlanta."
What band have you played with that has really impressed you with their live show?
I haven't played with any other acts, but Indianapolis has some excellent metal bands that put on great shows. Void King, Lavaborne, Veilcaste, Throne of Iron, and Apostle of Solitude are some that come to mind, and they always bring their "A" game.
Do you have a favorite venue to play at?
I haven't played any venues in Indianapolis yet, but Black Circle Brewing is our go-to place to see metal bands. It's an awesome spot with a great staff, and their beers are super tasty.
Do you have a pre-show ritual?
Two beers. No more, no less. That's usually enough to help shake off the nervousness without getting sloppy.
What is your favorite thing about touring?
I've never toured, but I would imagine it would be seeing all the different sites.
What is your least favorite thing about touring?
I would get homesick super fast and probably wouldn't last a week from missing my family.
Is there a city that you love to hit while on tour?
I love Chicago and would love to play there someday. Other than that, probably any city in Europe.
What’s the weirdest experience you’ve had on the road?
TBD.
The year is 2010. Where are you at and what are you listening to?
I was in Bloomington, Indiana, and was probably listening to High on Fire's Snakes for the Divine, Kvelertak's self-titled, Nachtmystium's Addicts: Black Meddle Part 2, and Agalloch's Marrow of the Spirit. Those all came out that year I believe.
What advice would you give young musicians that are just starting out in the music business?
Expect to spend a lot of money, but not make any. Haha. There's no money in music anymore - especially metal.
What is an absolute band killer?
Ego and greed. I was once in a cover band where every member wanted to make at least $100 a person per show. There were five of us, so needless to say we didn't get to play out very often. We broke up because we couldn't get any gigs.
Have you ever recorded a song that you really didn’t like, but somebody else in the band really did?
It's just me, so hopefully, that never happens haha.
If you were to start your own music festival what would be the name of that festival, and who would be the three headlining bands?
I'd have it at an old movie theater and call it Planet Terror Fest. I'd have old 70s and 80s horror movies playing on the screen in the background while the bands played in front. And if I could pick any three headliners, it would be Sleep, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, and Panopticon. I'm pretty sure they would draw a crowd.
What’s the longest time you’ve gone without bathing?
Probably two days. I can't stand not showering for very long.
What’s one thing that most people don’t know about you?
Nobody knows who I am, so that's a big one.
Is the Fistful of DOOM show in the top 10 of your favorite music podcasts?
I'm actually a fan and was stoked to get the opportunity to do this interview. Fingers crossed that Wizard Tattoo makes it on the show!
Do unicorns sleep standing up?
Unicorns sleep laying down on a bed of rainbows and exhale psychedelic drugs. If you wake one up, they'll stab you to death with their horn and then eat you. Duh.
You’re driving cross-country and you can only listen to one album the whole time. What album will it be?
Exile on Main St. by the Rolling Stones. It's packed with songs, and there's not a bad one on there!
You are writing a book about your life thus far. What is the title of that book?
FML.
What is your favorite song by Prince?
I'm not a huge fan but have a lot of respect for him. I'd have to go with "When Doves Cry" as my favorite.
Clutch of The Sword (if you had to choose)?
Definitely Clutch! I like The Sword, but Clutch has the better discography.
Doobies or Boobies (if you had to pick one)?
That's a tough one, but I could probably live without doobies, although I'd probably be a little grumpy.
Waffles or Pancakes (if you had to pick one)?
Waffles! They can really hold the toppings. Everything just slides off a pancake.
Star Wars or Star Trek (if you had to choose)?
Well, both properties are creatively bankrupt, but right now I'd have to say Star Wars. Star Trek's Picard show was a huge disappointment, and I found Discovery to be pretty boring. I liked The Mandalorian, and I thought the Obi-Wan series was good, so yeah, Star Wars.
Favorite band t-shirt you own?
I've got a Pig Destroyer shirt with Robocop holding an ax on it that I'd probably cry if it got ruined.
Favorite meal?
My wife is an amazing cook, so anything she makes is my favorite. If I had to narrow it down, it'd be between her enchiladas, chicken tikka masala, or her Italian nachos. I'm drooling right now thinking of them.
Favorite book?
The Stand by Stephen King. I read it when I was in Junior High, and I don't know if it was the book or that time of my life, but it always brings back fond memories.
Favorite movie?
It's a toss-up between Goodfellas and Spaceballs! I've seen both a hundred times and could do a hundred more.
Favorite album?
That's tough, but I'd have to go with Reckoning by R.E.M. I was a huge fan of theirs in high school, and it's got some of my favorite songs of theirs on it.
Favorite video game?
I loved playing Red Dead Redemption 2. Open-world games like those are usually my go-to, but I don't play that often anymore.
Favorite Professional Wrestler?
George the Animal Steele! I always liked him when I was a kid.
Mucho thanks to Bram the Bard for taking the time to answer my queries. I appreciate it. The debut release from Wizard Tattoo is available for pre-order now and I highly recommend that you do so. The album is really, really, really good. And spoiler alert….. a track did make it onto the Fistful of DOOM show.
El Pedo Caliente (aka Uncle Jameson from the Fistful of DOOM show)
https://wizardtattoo.bandcamp.com/album/wizard-tattoo
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