“Hello boys and girls. My name is Mr. Penfold. Pleased to meet all of you. Your teacher asked me to come to your school today to tell you a story. Would you like that?”
The children gathered around me on the floor eagerly responded with a “Yes!”, “Yeah!”, “Yea!”, and even a “Hooray!”.
“Good,” I said with a big smile. “I was hoping you might say that. Now…what story should I tell you all today? Hmmmm? Oh, I know! I’ll tell you the story of Readymade Breakup. It really is a wonderful adventure, and I just know you’ll like it. What do you think? Sound good?”
Another chorus of affirmative responses.
“Hahahaha, all right. Well let’s get started then shall we?” I opened the book sitting in my lap and began to read.
Once upon a time in a land not so far away from here called New Jersey, there lived four men, each of whom was a musician, who decided to form a band. They named their band Readymade Breakup, and together they made it their goal to produce some of the catchiest powerpop music anyone had ever heard. Everything was going swimmingly until one day an evil sorcerer intent on stopping the performance of their glee filled music descended upon their rehearsal space, cast a spell eliminating all of their sheet music, and ran away cackling. “That’s okay,” said Paul Rosevear, guitarist and main songwriter. “All of the songs were ‘Inside All Along’.”The band began playing again right before the evil sorcerer made it out the front door of the building. When he heard the band playing the songs without their sheet music he was furious! This was not possible! He rushed back to the practice space and demanded to know how the band could still play their songs without the proper instructions before them. “It’s ‘Just’ the way it is,” replied Gay Elvis the bass player. “We were ‘Waiting For You’ to come back. Why don’t you have a seat and listen? You might like what you hear.”
Too stubborn to admit that someone else might be right, the evil sorcerer scoffed and cast another spell, this time turning the face of guitarist Jim Fitzgerald into something akin to an old goalie mask made out of flesh instead of plastic. “Mwahaha! Now ‘There’ is a face for the ages. Good luck playing your happy tunes now!” With that, once again, the evil sorcerer ran out of the room. Following his departure, the other three band members crowded around Jim to see if he was okay. Jim used his hands to feel around his head, and after a moment wrote a note to the other three. The note simply said ‘Unzip My Face’.
And that is just what they did. Spicy O’Neil, the drummer, reached behind Jim’s head, felt around a little, and pulled a zipper from the crown of Jim’s head down to the base of his chin. This broke the spell and restored Jim’s real, smiling face. “Well would you look at that?” Spicy asked. “Guys, that may be the ‘Bravest Smile’ I’ve ever seen!” With everyone back to normal, the band decided that they had to try to change the sorcerer’s evil ways. All he needed was to hear the songs the band played, and he would be forever changed. It was clear however that he would not come to them. No, they had to take these ‘Good Things’ to him.
The evil sorcerer lived in a creepy mansion on the outskirts of town. The band set up their equipment on his front lawn and called for him to come outside. “What are you doing here?” demanded the evil sorcerer. “We’re ‘Not Through With You Yet’ evildoer!” responded the group. Before the sorcerer could say another word, the band broke into song. They played without break for around thirty minutes. When they were through Gay Elvis addressed the sorcerer. “Friend, through the power of our music, the evil inside of you has been ‘Erased’!” With an enormous smile on his face the sorcerer thanked the band for their kindness. “Thank you Readymade Breakup! From now on I will only use my magic for good and to make others happy. Thank you so much!”
And they all lived happily ever after. The End.
My apologies if what I’ve written above has given you, my fellow waveriders, the impression that the music of Readymade Breakup is strictly for kids. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, the music played by this band is well suited for babies, children, teenagers, adults, seniors, and anything else with a working pair of ears on their body. That’s right, animals too! Even though they cannot thank you with intelligible speech, believe me, they will be thrilled to hear this incredible album. Actually, incredible is not an adequate descriptor in this case. Let’s use stupefying instead. As in, this album is so fantastic, it’s stupefying! Over the past two weeks since I was first introduced to it, this music has bolted past mere ‘like’ status straight into the realm of ‘musical narcotic’ essential for daily living. I fear the withdrawals!
Readymade Breakup, as you might have pieced together from their tale, is a four piece rock and roll band. When I first investigated them online a few websites slapped the label powerpop on them, so I’ll stick with that too for now. But what does powerpop describe? In my mind it is quite simple. Think of music which has mass appeal, something easily sung along with or hum able, but that frequently has the full band amped to eleven. We’re talking about tsunamis of harmonious singing layered atop pounding, intricate drums and thick guitar and bass lines that bypass your brain to go directly after your central nervous system. Honestly, this album should come with a surgeon general’s warning along with a picture of the happiest person they can find to photograph. Buyers beware!
As for the music itself, words nearly fail me. The album rockets out of the blocks with “Inside All Along”. The opening lyrics perfectly describe the structure of the song. ‘It comes on real slowly, and builds to the only, sound in my head, like an old familiar friend.’ It begins slowly and peacefully to place the listener in their comfort zone, and then gradually builds upon itself before hitting the massive chorus. “Just” is bombastic from start to finish. Perhaps it is because of the echo-laden guitar lines, but “Waiting For You” feels more organic than the first two songs. The bass tone on this song exudes warmth like a furnace as well. I mean no disrespect to the next two tracks, “Waiting For You” and “Unzip My Face”, but I’m going to jump directly to my favorite two song combination in recent memory. “Bravest Smile” has grooves as deep as the Grand Canyon, and effervescent choruses that get my head bobbing with excitement every time, without fail. What comes next, “Good Things”, is one of the best songs I have heard in a long, long time. There is not one thing about this song that does not connect with me on a deep, subcutaneous level. Not one! To complete the listening experience, the band switches things up with the touching ballad “Not Through With You Yet” before drawing the proceedings to a close with “Erased”, a perfect encapsulation of what they do so well.
It is a real shame that I only listened to this album at the beginning of 2011. If I had managed to hear it upon its release late in 2010, the album would have easily made my top ten list. Regrettably, due to the current timeframe, I can only offer up positively glowing statements and hope to draw as much attention as possible. So here you go. A perfect score! Five out of five stars! Ten out of ten! Two thumbs way up! Still in need of convincing? That’s okay. Go to the band’s website and listen to the full album. You will not regret your decision. Now back to the classroom.
I glanced up at my audience as I closed the storybook. All the children were clearly enraptured by the tale of Readymade Breakup. It took only a few seconds before a couple of them asked me to read the story to them again.
“Read it again Mr. Penfold. Read it again!”
“I’m sorry kids, but your teacher says I’m out of time for today. How about if I promise to come back next week and read to you again? Would that be all right?”
This last question was greeted with a loud, sustained “Yeah!”.
“Good. I’m glad you feel that way. I’ll see you in a week. Bye, bye for now.”
-- Penfold
Buy Here - http://readymadebreakup.bandcamp.com/album/readymade-breakup
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