A Sunday Conversation with Vanessa Kafka

Coming by the Ripple office to join us today, fresh off the dynamite release of her debut album, Into Place, Vanessa Kafka takes up residence on the Ripple couch and chats with us a bit, sharing her thoughts on music and the songwriting process. A singer-songwriter with a tender, yearning voice of uncommon beauty, just brimming with emotion, Into Place shouldn't be missed by anyone who likes good music.

When I was a kid, growing up in a house with Cat Stevens, Neil Diamond, and Simon and Garfunkle, the first time I ever hear Kiss's "Detroit Rock City," it was a moment of musical epiphany. It was just so vicious, aggressive and mean. It changed the way I looked at music, what it could sound like, how it could make me feel?

What have been your musical epiphany moments?


Geez, what a question to start with. I basically grew up listening to whatever my Dad’s musical taste was that week or month (changed pretty frequently…my family listened to everything). My earliest memories are of the Beatles, Emmy Lou Harris, Johnny Cash. But then there was like all this other crazy New Age music in there, classical, Gregorian chants, Latin, Native American…you name it…if it was “worldly” my family was listening to it. As a result, whatever was actually on mainstream radio in the US was what I WASN’T listening to. I think my first musical epiphany moment was when I went over to my friend Jason’s place who lived down the street (he also exposed me to the world of GI Joes, Legos and video games). I think he’d gotten a new Lego castle set or something that day so he invited me over to play. He stuck a tape into his boombox -Michael Jackson’s Bad. I was like, blown away.

Fast forward to the 90s, sixth grade, in middle school you were either a “skater” or a “homie” (note: I grew up in a Connecticut suburban town…ridiculous what we come up with in middle school). I was more of a floater myself but was exchanging notes with skaters, one of whom asked me to be his girlfriend. He walked me to my bus at the end of the day, real sweet. Anyway, Skaters listened to grunge. That was when I heard Nirvana for the first time. You say Kiss was angry for you…Nirvana’s Nevermind was my first introduction to angry. The distorted guitars, imperfect voice….it was awesome. My parents had no idea why I loved it – they thought it was ugly - but I freaking loved it. Looking back on it, I’m pretty sure that I didn’t really understand the songs and what they meant, but I loved how Kurt Cobain sang them and the aggressiveness that went into them.

Aside from Nirvana and Bush, I pretty much missed on out the rest of music in the 90s. Not sure how or why, but grunge somehow evolved into Celtic music. I was obsessed with Celtic music in high school. I had started playing guitar by then and writing my own songs, so I think a lot of my early stuff is somehow influenced by the vibe-y New Age-ish Celtic stuff I was listening to. My junior year of high school, I picked up on the fact that for years people had been listening to Dave Matthews Band. I asked my aunt to buy me one of their albums for Christmas that year. She ended up buying me two, Before These Crowded Streets and Live at Luther College. The Dave and Tim album from Luther College is the one I ended up sticking in my CD player first. That is one of my favorite albums to this day. The first time I heard #41 was off that album. There’s a lot of Dave influence in my writing from there on out.


Talk to us about the song-writing process for you. What comes first, the idea? A riff? The lyrics? How does it all fall into place?

I personally like to write the lyrics when the music is put together and structured. I know what the verses and choruses are going to sound like and I’m already toying with melodies. My approach to writing lyrics has changed over the years though. When I first started writing songs, I’d write the music and figure out what the music made me feel and then from there, take the images in my mind and write words. It was a good way for me to play around with different musical and lyrical styles and using other people’s ideas was also great since at 15 years old, I didn’t have a whole lot of experience to write about. And yet, I was mature enough at that point that I wasn’t interested in writing about high school or about teenage drama. I’ve always been sort of an old soul in that regard. I wanted to write about adult things. And in my head, I had this image of what adulthood would be like…what being in love would feel like. The challenge, self-discovery, beauty and sadness of it.

As I got older, got through college, fell in love, got my heart broken, my lyrics started changing completely. As my songs have gotten more personal, it’s been a growing experience for me to not be scared of writing words that I’ll ultimately sing on stage. My early “personal” songs are sort of metaphorical and vague because I’m trying to cover up the details that would reveal too much since my friends would be in the audience and could potentially know what or who the songs were about. I didn’t want to have to explain the songs. Now, I basically wear my heart on my sleeve in my music.

When I write, I’m very in touch with how I feel at that moment. I have the thoughts and know what I need to get out of my system. It’s a lot more real to me to write now. In real life, I keep things pretty close to me. I talk about what’s on my mind a lot, but only to a very select group of people. And yet with my music, it’s like an announcement. When I finish a song, I’ve successfully made sense of the chaos in head at a current point in time and it takes a life of its own. It’s all carried by the music and starting with that helps me begin the process of structuring my thoughts. From there, I just let it come out. It’s me getting in touch with myself, but it’s also me telling the world, “Ok, this is how I feel. Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way and maybe it makes me look like a fool, but this is how I feel.” Every finished song is a moment of clarity…it’s my heart, my mind and my soul coming to terms with each other. It’s one of the only times they seem to get along.


In songwriting, how do you bring the song together? What do you look for in terms of complexity? Simplicity? Time changes?

I feel like the song comes together when I get the dynamic I want. I like songs that move, change, make your emotions surge…bring you to a different place from where you started out. That being said, I think a good balance of complexity and simplicity is perfect. I think complexity is carried most in the lyrics. Trying to convey the confusion that comes with feeling one way but knowing your mind is telling you something else. Musically, I like complexity if it’s tasteful…but I tend to be drawn to things that are simple and vibe-y…music that mellows you out and makes you think. I like to try new things once in a while and sometimes things will start out more complicated than they should be. But similar to how I as a person am learning to simplify my life and not think too far ahead, I think my music is working in a similar direction.


Where do you look for continuing inspiration? New ideas, new motivation?

I look to my own experiences primarily for motivation. I’ve toyed with the idea of writing about things that I see, observe in other people. Those ideas ultimately get pulled in some way, shape or form, but whereas some people are gifted at writing songs about people and places, I tend to focus on how I feel at that moment. I’m not sure if that’s self-centered or not, but for me, writing is such a personal thing. At this point in my life, it really is how I come to terms with my emotions and insecurities and strengths. You listen to the songs I’ve written over the past couple of years and you can essentially see my emotional timeline. Maybe when I’ve settled into myself more, I’ll look outside that box, but I feel like my own life is so dynamic right now emotionally that I have plenty to sort through. Every experience is a new learning opportunity for me, a new thing to learn about myself. I teach myself how to process new things by writing about them and making sense of them. And then the next thing comes along and I do it all again.


Genre's are so misleading and such a way to pigeonhole bands. Without resorting to labels, how would you describe your music?

Hmmm, how about good auditing music? Kidding! I have friends in the corporate world that will throw my music on while they’re working, hence the comment. From what I’ve heard, it’s music that sits well in the background, but at the right moments you’re drawn in. I like to think that it’s music you feel after the fact…you hear it, it sits and then it hits you later and you’re moved. Not in your face, just there, flowing in and through your own thoughts. The kind of music you listen for when you’re in that climax point in the movie and the girl is walking away and the guy realizes he can’t lose her and there’s running and GOD the suspense and the music cues in and you don’t hear it at first but at the end of it all, you just sigh and leave with the song still playing in your head.


What is you musical intention? What are you trying to express or get your audience to feel?

One of the things that I struggle with as a person sometimes is with the fact that it’s ok to make mistakes. I have pretty high expectations of myself and am probably sometimes too hard on myself, especially with how I deal with my emotions in vulnerable, personal situations. Like anyone in love, my heart takes over and it makes me feel totally out of control and irrational. But I’m human. And while it can be easy for me to find reasons and rationale in every day life, it’s practically impossible to explain why you feel one way, or why you keep putting yourself in the same positions even though nothing has changed. You just do. There’s nothing wrong with hoping. There’s nothing wrong with being mad. When I write, I want people to feel emotionally liberated. There’s something to be said about being happy after you work your way over the obstacles life throws at you. One just has to keep at it, keep learning. Keep smiling.


What makes a great song? Who living right now writes great songs?

When I’m listening to an album and I get to a song and am driving along and then suddenly cue into this one line or feel this shift in chords and dynamic that totally shifts the nature of my thoughts or emotions for however long - that to me is a great song. Those are the songs that I keep going back to replay because I want to feel that shift again. I’ve been listening to Mute Math nonstop for over a year now for those shifts. I listen to that album from beginning to end almost every time and it’s one of my favorites to have on when I’m driving. My favorite sequence is tracks 10 and on, from “You Are Mine” (my favorite song on the album), to “Control”, to “Picture” to “Stall Out”. I swear, getting to the end of that album for that sequence is like falling in love.

The latest Radiohead album is another one I keep coming back to. Some of their songs are totally trippy but they have this ability to reinvent their sound without losing their style and create songs that overlap within themselves. The words and music aren’t predictable but it all just fits together so perfectly. It’s achingly beautiful music. Lyrically, Dave Matthews and Counting Crows top the list. Their songs aren’t just verses and choruses. They’re journeys. You can keep listening to those songs and every time, discover something new. Lines will hit you a different way each time you hear them. They’re timeless. For me, it’s ultimately how a song makes me feel. I live for those moments when I’m by myself in my car, lost in my thoughts and then there they are. Butterflies.


Being a woman in the music industry presents its own challenges, despite the success of so many female artists. What have you come up against and how have you handled it?

I think one of the strangest things about being a female artist is how you’re compared to other artists. When I’m trying to describe my sound, I feel this pressure to give examples of other females artists because I’m female even though some of my strongest influences are male artists. The buckets can be more generic sometimes so that if you’re a girl with a guitar you end being compared to other “girls with guitars” even if the things you’re writing about are being delivered in different manners. Being categorized as a “girl with a guitar” is one of my pet peeves. Is that really the best you could come up with? It’s so generic and vague! What does that even mean?!

In general, being a female in my 20s with some pretty big aspirations has its own set of intimidating factors. Much like being a career-driven woman in the corporate world has its stigmas, I’ve dealt with similar challenges in and out of the music industry. I don’t just want to have a music career…I want to be in control of it. It’s a business and I want to run my business. But then, I’m a female and I write songs from a female state of mind. I’m emotional and sensitive and not always comfortable showing that vulnerability for fear of being taken advantage of. Switching in and out of those modes can be challenging. When I’m in wearing the emotional hat and can’t get the business hat on, I’m happy I work with people that can balance me out and throw on their business hats without stepping on me. They’re also the ones that lighten me up when I get all serious on them.

That being said, I don’t consider being female so much of an obstacle anymore per se. I think my generation is generally more aware of the male/female balance and the healthy competition and teaming that comes along with it. Sometimes it’s harder to get taken seriously as a female musician. But hey, I accept the fact that everyone will take the music to heart differently. It’ll be moving and impactful for some and there will be others that will simply box it into “girl with guitar”. Just like any other musician, male or female, if I try to please everyone, I’ll set myself up for failure. The ones I care about are the ones that’ll hear it, take it to heart and pass it on.

On a personal note, I love where this is all going, but sometimes, I wish I could indulge in less responsibility and more drama so I can say I did. Sometimes I feel like I’m too wise for my own good and should act more my age. Weird huh?


Vinyl, CD, or digital? What's your format of choice?

I still love CDs. I haven’t gotten into vinyl really and digital while it’s easy and immediate doesn’t give me the same rush as buying an actual CD. I still like to consider albums as works of art that aren’t meant to be split up or sold separately. Granted, I’ve bought singles or select tracks off iTunes when I’ve felt like it. But I think I’m always the most satisfied when I buy a CD and thus have the whole package in front of me. Even if I end up not liking some songs, I have the full body of work. Some songs will hit you and have an impact months or years later after you buy it too. And it’s tangible. I love my iPod but it almost makes me feel like I’m staying in my comfortable bubble. I put new music on to MY ipod, it shuffles on MY playlist and is now buried amidst 4000+ songs. But when I get a new CD, it and the artist stand alone.


What's the best record store in your town?

Newbury Comics is a pretty sweet place to go to. I always find some cool new local Boston music in there and can easily spend hours browsing. They’re carrying the album too. J Hooray Newbury Comics!


Thanks, Vanessa. All the best wishes for success with your new, beautiful album.

www.vanessakafka.com

Buy Vanessa Kafka here: Tell Me So

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