Friday, January 19, 2018

Dead Cross - Self-Titled

Instructions on the proper behavior when confronted by a member of the Church Of The Motherf***ers:

1) Take a deep breath.  Take two.  You'll need them.

2) Regardless of who speaks first, the church member will always begin by stating that Bela Lugosi's Dead.  Do not be alarmed.  This event transpired long ago and is irrelevant information.

3) VERY IMPORTANT!  Hearing the acolyte speak will trigger your gag reflex.  Fight the urge to vomit.  It is what they want.  If you are unsuccessful in preventing the expulsion of vomit see 3a below.

3a) DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE accept the church disciple's offer of his/her shillelagh.  These objects contain no spiritual healing properties as they would have you believe.  The fiend's goal is to judiciously apply his club to your head rendering you unconscious.

4) At this point the church adherent will inform you that it is his/her sacred duty to escort you to the nearest Obedience School.  There you will be taught all the tenets of the Church Of The Motherf***ers.  Refuse to accompany him/her.

5) Inevitably the zealot will present you with a 'Seizure And Desist' order.  This document is designed to look like an arrest warrant or subpoena.  You may accept this paperwork if you wish.  Unlike the offer of the shillelagh, no violence will be brought about from your acceptance of this non-binding document.

6) The church member will once again try to convince you that you must accompany him/her to Obedience School.  The most effective method of refusal is to inform the acolyte, using these exact words, that "the Future has been canceled".

7) Veteran partisans will cut their losses at this point and move on.  The less experienced devotees will likely become visibly upset and yell the phrase "grave slave" at you, believing this to be an insult that will anger you.  Show no emotion.

8) Unfortunately these people are idiopathic.  You can't help them.  What you can do is end the unwanted conversation once and for all by informing the church member that everything they believe in is divine filth.

Well done!  You won't be hearing from that person again.

Good day waveriders!  Today I have the equivalent of a slam dunk recommendation.  I'm supremely confident that many of you reading this know about and are already fans of uber-vocalist Mike Patton.  Well, wouldn't you know it?  He's part of new group called Dead Cross and they recently released their self-titled debut album.

After listening to the album multiple times I was extremely surprised to find out that Mike Patton was not the original vocalist for the band.  Dead Cross is the brainchild of Dave Lombardo of Slayer fame, Justin Pearson, and Mike Crain of Retox.  The group initially formed with Gabe Serbian from The Locust as their singer.  After the self-titled record had been recorded the group decided not to release it and asked Mr. Patton if he would like to front the band.  He accepted and proceeded to record all new vocals over the same instrumental tracks. 

So what does Dead Cross sound like you ask?  Extrapolating off the resumes of each member this is unsurprisingly an absurdly aggressive album.  The music is best described as crossover thrash but there is some variety on offer.  Some tracks like "Idiopathic" and "Shillelagh" lean heavily on the hardcore punk sound, while others like "Divine Filth" and "The Future Has Been Cancelled" fall more in line with thrash metal.  Of course there are a couple of screwball experiments thrown in for good measure as well like the Bauhaus cover "Bela Lugosi's Dead".  The resultant album is flat out awesome!

Waveriders if you require an adrenaline shot of musical aggression in your diet look no further than the self-titled debut album from Dead Cross.  The propulsive mix of hardcore punk and thrash metal sounds vital and the vocal versatility provided by Mike Patton makes the proceedings significantly more interesting.  Don't think about it.  Just buy your copy today.


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