Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Confused Little Girl - Southern Gentlemen
Skeeters are snackin'. They're as big as half-dollars and they'll bleed you dry if you let 'em. The gators are patiently waiting. Some are stalkin' their prey. Shine a light and you can see the battalion of reptile eyes, like fallen stars strewn across the water's surface. Yes, we're in the icky Florida swamp, where it's scary-dark and it's nasty. I lived there once, and it's also where Confused Little Girl and Southern Gentlemen rose from the filthy muck.
I told Racer that I've been listening to the independent release of this album for almost a year but I clearly wasn't the only one. Rotten Records took notice and signed the Orlando-based group, turning out Southern Gentlemen internationally on Oct. 11. They brought an exceptional and original rock band on board, in my opinion. Here's some information from their bio for those who haven't heard about Confused Little Girl yet.
"Confused Little Girl are a four-piece, deep-fried, southern swamp-rock band from Orlando, Florida. Their songs are filled with themes of drinking whiskey, murdering people and burying them in the bellies of alligators, pigs and the bottom of the water in the Everglades, and of course, selling your soul to Satan. The music that accompanies this subject matter is filled with loud guitars; heavy, groove-based big drums and enough fat-bottom for even Freddie Mercury to be disgusted. Since 2005, these beloved bastards of rock have been working tirelessly to shove their brand of heavy rock and roll down the throats of as many people as humanly possible."
Influences include: AC/DC, ZZ Top, Black Sabbath, Down, C.O.C., Clutch, and Queens of the Stone Age. What more do you need to know? Want details? Too bad. I don't know much else about Confused Little Girl, aside from the fact that Billy Van Muddlestein, David Washburn, Red Reilly and Josh Henry like booze, bitches and barbecue. Hell, who doesn't?
"We come from the Swamp," Confused Little Girl says. "We play rock-and-roll music. Loud, angry, drunken rock-and-roll. Being from Florida, where tons of southern rock bands came from, we have southern music in our hearts. The details about how we met and who we've played with and all of that bullshit isn't important. It's music, you listen to it. So listen to it. "
I have listened to Southern Gentlemen - many times. Too many to count. I'm listening again right now and I'll tell you something: it never gets old. Like I said before, I've been playing this release since the beginning of the year and I'm not stopping now. I won't bother with trying to describe every song because it's all good. The guitars are southern-scuzzy; the vocals are hefty and raunchy, but they're definitely still clear enough for me. The bass and drums are just monstrous. It's everything I love about swamp rock. No wonder I can't get enough.
Oh. And the song titles. Don't get me started on that. "I'd Rather Booby Screw A Walrus" is a favorite, along with "Honestly, Who Gives Their Genitals Pet Names". "Hookers on Horseback", "(Hey Dad) Stop Looking at Porn on My Computer", "Jordan Catalano Needs to Break Up His Shitty Band" and "How Satan Stole My Heart". C'mon. Aren't those some of the most interesting song names you've ever heard? Just reading those names makes you want to listen, doesn't it? Go ahead. You'll be happy you did.
The sick, 12-song Southern Gentlemen was sort of an obscure title earlier this year. Well not any more. I'm glad to see Confused Little Girl get signed by Rotten Records. Now the world has a better chance to hear the swamp-rock I've been trudging through for months. Head to the Rotten Records site for this record and get your copy NOW.
Hail the swamp!