STARIFIED - “Fat Hits”

I have a theory. Well, I have a few theories, most of them no sane person would want to hear and a few are unprintable. But seriously, folks, I have a theory that if you’re a drummer in a heavy rock or metal band, you should try to look like Mikkey Dee. That way, if you can’t play like one of the greatest of all-time, at least you’ll look like one. This is a problem that Vadim Ambartsumian of STARIFIED doesn’t have. The guy actually looks like the ex-Motörhead skin-beater if he’d visited an upscale hair salon. He also plays like a similar house afire and adds in the little matter of being a killer lead singer. And in the case of this Moscow trio, his 2 band mates are sure as hell no slouches either.

 

Joining Vadim in STARIFIED are bassist Dmitri Shurpakov and guitar player Yuriy Berezovik and their 3rd disc (& Ripple debut) has found a permanent home in my car. This is the kind of album that I call a “roller.”  You put it on in the car, press “play” and it just rolls over you. Hard. Riff after riff, slotted together in songs that are just the right length to kick ass and melodies that latch fishing hooks in your brain. Nothing 10 minutes long here, nothing to make you pull out a book of Sartre or Kierkegaard and ponder the universe. This is great balls ass rawk.

 

That’s not to say that “Fat Hits” is by-the-numbers, cut-&-paste. Far from it. Check out “An Ode To Tenacious D.” If Jerry Cantrell and Dave Grohl had taken the DeLorean back to Munich in ‘75 and barged in on the recording of ZEP’s “Presence,” this might’ve happened. Then there’s “Anti Rebel.” It starts as an aggressive, ‘HEAD-ish riffy rocker, then opens up into a spiraling psych part that could be a KINGSTON WALL chorus. From there,  an uptempo early 80’s metal explosion takes it home. You’ve got the doomy “Saraton,” the mathy overtones of “Don Loco” and the positively glorious “What If,” easily one of my favorite songs of 2021. All compact, complete and goddamn good! And none more than a shred over 5 catchy, ear-grabbing minutes. Somewhere I think Mikkey Dee might be smiling.

 

STARIFIED:

Yuriy Berezovik - guitars, lap steel, theremin,    backing vocals

Vadim Ambartsumian - vocals, drums, percussion

Dmitri Shurpakov - bass, percussion

 

-Ray Dorsey