What is your full name?
RD: I am Reptilicus Suckassius Deleuze Baudrillard, more commonly known as Reptilian Deluxe.
LG: My full name is Pœsi Ētar Gartallaxix but y'all lower life forms shall refer to me as Lord Gartallax.
Remind me what planet you guys are from?
LG: We were made in the Imperial Moon Labs #42069 of the Gamma Quadrant sector around the region you human’s would call Orion’s Belt. Reptilian is from a planet which’s name is actually unpronounceable.
What bands are you actively involved with?
LG: Currently with all this Covid shit we haven't been actively molesting any bands. But usually we fuck with bands like Out of Hand, Calamity, Moths, Ritual Kannabis, Escante and some others from the Puerto Rican metal and punk scene.
What was the first instrument that you played?
RD: I began by mimicking human DNA, which gave me an angelic voice of gods, which I neglect by drinking copious amounts of alcohol, but my actual first instrument was the piano.
LG: I first started playing fusion bombs and tactical gravity imploders but when we came to earth drums seemed like the best option to keep my high protein metabolism under control.
Tell me about one of your first musical memories?
RD: The first thing I can remember is our first actual original songs set, where we were put on the opening slot of the bill and after our set was done the dude that invited us to play told us we crushed and that it was gonna be hard to top our set.
What was the name of the first band you were in?
LG: The name was silent cobra. Luckily I went back in time and erased all evidence about it so it practically didn't happen.
Tell me about the genesis of Fullminator.
LG: Well this shit all started several thousand years into the future. When the cosmic dictator Colonel Roach decided to clone himself to better fulfill his crusade of conquering the entire universe. He made 5 clones for 5 thrones. BUT! The clones would prove unfaithful to his cause. They stole a highly valuable piece of paraphernalia and escaped back in time through a portal called the Nexus. Appearing in the filthy streets of Puerto Rico in the year 2016 where they were greeted by Reptilian Deluxe who already had a plan to remain hidden on this shit planet for now.
RD: Indeed, I helped the clones find identities in the underground music scene as members of a Crossover Thrash band who pose as clones of an intergalactic alien dictator. And here we are.
What inspired the name Fullminator?
LG: The name was inspired by the state we leave the planets we party in.
RD: And the Terminator films.
LG: It took us around six months, more or less. But technically speaking it was done instantaneously ‘cause we did all this in a time warp so. Yeah.
RD: We started to compose around the start of quarantine, we decided we should use this opportunity to go into space, go into hyperdrive and just have the whole thing recorded by the time we made a circle around the milky way.
If you could insert yourself into any one band what band would it be and why?
LG: I would definitely insert myself into Metallica so I can afford luxury rehab treatments and play like shit but still be awesome.
RD: I would insert myself into a band like Mastodon to make trippy ass vocal harmonies and just generally be a cool weird dude from Georgia.
Have you ever heard a song and immediately wished you had written it? If so… What was the song and artist?
LG: There's this song by Gwar called ’Release the flies’ damn! That shit’s good. Always gets me.
RD: There’s a ton of songs I would say I wish I’ve written. But if I’m gonna choose one, I’d say I wish I wrote every song on Pink Floyd’s Animals.
Do you have any non-metal musical inspirations?
LG: Yes, Godzilla.
RD: I’ve got a few: I’d say Kendrick Lamar, Pink Floyd, Ice Cube, Gustavo Cerati, Simeon el Barbaro.
Non-metal song that you'd like to do a cover of.
LG: Asereje by Las Ketchup is coming soon I swear.
RD: I’d love to do a thrash cover of Miki Matsubara’s Mayonaka no Door/Stay with Me.
What band have you played with that has really impressed you with their live show?
LG: Our boys in Ritual Kannabis are probably one of the most vicious live acts out there. You can literally feel the amps moving the air and the weed smoke.
The year is 2008. Where are you at and what are you listening to?
LG: 2008 we were not yet on earth, sorry.
RD: The memories of the human whose body I stole says I was gaslighting the teachers at school while posing as a child on earth, listening to Aerosmith, Death Magnetic and watching Tenacious D.
What is an absolute band killer?
LG: Well I guess bad communication and procrastination could totally ruin any operation.
RD: Perhaps a rogue AI from an alternate universe whose sole purpose is to eradicate all organic life as well.
What’s the longest time you’ve gone without bathing?
LG: I don't know, maybe like 700 years or something.
RD: As a reptile I bathe when I’m shedding every few weeks, by necessity.
You are writing a book about your life thus far. What is the title of that book?
LG: ’Lord Gartallax and the struggles of trying to be an illegal alien Rock star’
RD: “Anti-Anthropomorph: The Metaphysical Struggle of a Reptilian Aristocrat Posing as a Proletariat Human.”
LG: Yea I like the one that goes ”When he fucks me good I take his ass to Red Lobster”
Metallica or Megadeth (if you had to choose)?
LG: Hmmm currently they are both terrible. But back in the day both.
RD: Indeed.
Favorite band t-shirt you own?
RD: I have a Mayhem shirt I really like but my organic vessel has accumulated vast amounts of fat since quarantine started and now I must exercise it in order to wear the shirt again.
LG: Gama Bomb has some nice rags. My favorite shirt right now is from Shrek tho.
Favorite meal?
LG: Lithium batteries for breakfast mmmm yes.
RD: I will eat anything. But if I had to choose, I’d say Donner Kebab.
Favorite book?
LG: I literally can't read
RD: Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher for non-fiction. The whole Witcher novel series for fiction.
Favorite movie?
LG: Aliens 2 the one with a lot of xenomorphs and those very dope shoes Ripley had.
RD: Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa
Favorite album?
LG: Scumdogs of the Universe by Gwar.
RD: Bocanada by Gustavo Cerati.
Mucho thanks to Reptilian Deluxe and Lord Gartallax for taking the time to answer my queries. I appreciate it. This has been one of the most (if not the most) entertaining interviews that I’ve had the pleasure of doing and I appreciate that, as well. Please do yourself an enormous favor and check out Fullminator’s latest ep titled Omniplasm. The music within and the artwork are out of this world!
~El Pedo Caliente (aka Uncle Jameson from the Fistful of DOOM show)
https://fullminatorofficial.bandcamp.com/album/omniplasm
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